Biking and the Inestimable Value of Constancy August 25, 2009

Peering down the wooded trail to the intersecting highway, a sensation next to dread wrenched my stomach.

The leaders were nowhere in sight.

Last Saturday’s bike ride had been plagued with ill luck from the start after a first-time biker had almost collapsed over his handlebars soon into the morning ride due to exhaustion and splitting dehydration. Near the roughest section- a swampy trail I’ve dubbed “Monitor Trail” due to past bikers crashing into monitor lizards there the size of small crocodiles- I stayed behind with the gasping rider so as to let the lead bikers push on ahead with the understanding we would meet at the trail’s end. However, as we came closer to the muffled hum of daytime traffic, I realized that they were nowhere in sight. Still being 20 Km. from home and having only gone out with the group twice before, I realized that this could pose a serious problem.

Luckily, by identifying several unique landmarks along the way and asking directions in my poorly accented Thai, we found ourselves at the river ferry, carrying us over the Chao Phraya river and back into the comforting presence of familiar territory. What a fantastic way to spend a Saturday morning!

Biking has truly become a passion of mine in the recent weeks. I had lately been invited by a close friend to accompany his bike group on their 50-60 km outing through serene countryside and dirt trails, but always politely declined. I finally took him up on the offer and have been hooked ever since. In fact, I’ve even joined a spinning class at my gym in order to prepare myself for the weekend excursions.

It’s not only the thrill of the ride that I enjoy- it allows me to experience the genuine side of this fantastic country. The vibrant green hues of young rice fields, the constant flashes of quick-footed wildlife, the timid scent of banana blossoms- these are aspects of my childhood that biking has helped me recapture.

Beyond that, life continues in its rather unhurried, unchanging (yet ever changing) way. My sixth graders are great, though there are times that I want to lock them all in my large filing cabinet and conveniently lose the key. This feeling usually only arrives at the end of the day when the bell rings and I have to force them to get out of the classroom. It’s so strange- you couldn’t have gotten me out of the classroom fast enough when I was their age.

More personally, although I still undergo pangs of isolation and restlessness, I believe that I’ve gotten through the worst of this period. At least, for now. Sometimes I wonder if I really did make out better in life by being born into a family that lived internationally yet never developed roots, anchoring, whatever you choose to call it. True, I wouldn’t have experienced much of what I was able to during my childhood, but since I would have never known what I had missed, I doubt its loss would have troubled me much at all- and possibly I would have had a little more constancy in my life.

The truth is that I know I wouldn’t trade my life overseas for anything, especially knowing that some of my friends have far less stability then I do- and they lived in the same town most of their lives. It’s interesting though, to consider what stability in our lives actually is. I could assume it is simply familiar individuals that bring us a sense of stability; which is true, but let’s be honest- people have the potential of evoking as much instability as well. I could convince myself that it is places that bring stability, but I know (at least for myself) that familiar locations only offer a vague sense of constancy, and are definitely not a prime source of it.

When it comes down to it, my faith and family are the only two aspects of my life which have been present with me all throughout in some form, both in an undulating sort of fashion. Personally, I believe that finding stability has much to do with recognizing the things which are constant in one’s life, whatever they may be, and guarding them well. They are of inestimable value.